pslasher

Title: A Kiss That You Want With Your Whole Life


Fandom: Star Trek AOS RPS

Relationships: Chris Pine/Karl Urban, Karl Urban/Natalie Urban

Characters: Chris Pine, Karl Urban, Natalie Urban, Zoe Saldana, Zach Quinto, Bruce Greenwood

Rating: Explicit

Length: 34,669

Contains: no spoilers, polyamory, Alternate Universe – BDSM, knife play, spanking, angst

Summary: Karl goes to work in the biggest role of his life, and winds up faced with the biggest choice of his life.



Author’s Note: For Thalialunacy. This story wouldn’t exist without you, bb.  Title is from the poetry of Rumi.
This story is not really finished and polished, so some parts are rough.  I left this story at a point where I could consider it the end of part one of a series, or just an unfinished WIP.  I thought a lot about whether to post it - it isn't finished and I don't want to disappoint readers because I may never come back to it.  But I love it and am damn proud of it, and I was encouraged by a friend to post it so I will.  Just know that it's got a major cliffhanger!
( Read more... )

Chapter 1

Chris Pine caught him after the first read through, as he was gathering up his script and water bottle from his spot at the long table. "Hey Karl, you want to take a look around at the sets? Have you gotten a chance to see anything yet?"

"No, not yet. They kept me pretty busy with wardrobe and stuff yesterday. I'd love to."

"Oh man, you're gonna love the bridge!" Chris grinned at him, excited and eager and Karl couldn’t help but grin back. He'd been looking forward to this for months, and being able to share that excitement with a cast mate was inspiring.

The bridge set was large and spacious, but nowhere near being finished. It was mostly plywood with sawdust piled in the corners of the floor, just a rough suggestion of consoles. The change in elevation of the floor was marked off with an in-adequate looking 2x4 handrail. Karl could already visualize being on the finished deck fighting Nero and struggling to save Earth.

"That's going to be the viewscreen over there," Chris waved at the large wall with a huge cut-out across from them, and stepped into a space in the middle of the empty floor, holding his arms out. "And this right here is going to be my chair."

"You know Bruce and Zach get a shot at that chair before you, right?" Karl dropped his script by the door and walked along the curve of consoles to his right, one possibility after another for the finished set flickering through his mind.

"Yeah, well, the Enterprise is my baby,” he replied, all but patting the temporary railing in front of him. “They're just holding her for me."

Karl snorted. “Just because you’re the interloper who steals command from Spock doesn’t make it rightfully yours.”

“To the victor go the spoils,” Chris replied nonchalantly, gazing around with such a look of contentment on his face that Karl had to laugh.

The excitement of the cast and crew over making the film was palpable during the read-through, and the eagerness with which everyone had devoted to reading their lines and hashing out scenes earlier in the day was contagious. Karl hadn't been this excited over a film since Rings. He didn't think anything would compare to that experience, but Trek was promising to be a similar experience already.

“It is Kirk’s destiny to command the Enterprise,” Karl finally conceded.

Chris turned around and beamed at him, and Karl marveled at the way his blue eyes crinkled and his grin seemed to pull answering energy from Karl. “Come on, let me show you Medical! And Nero’s ship!”

Medical was more complete than the bridge. The flooring, walls, beds and nurses station were all in place, though none of the set dressings were put out yet. Karl ran his hands along the top of the nurse’s desk as he walked past, taking everything in. This is where Bones would be spending a lot of his time, a place that was central to who Bones was as a person. Karl got goosbumps with the anticipation of bringing Bones to life again, and suddenly he understood Chris’ earlier exuberance.

“And Dr. Puri is just holding Medical for me,” he said to Chris. Chris grinned at him, and Karl knew he understood.

They lingered for a while discussing Bones and Kirk and Trek in general. Chris razzed him good-naturedly for being a geek and Karl bumped his shoulder into Chris’ in retaliation.

By the time Chris was done dragging him through the whole lot Karl was ready to collapse. “Look, you want to get some dinner? I’m starving, and it doesn’t look like J.J. is going to need anything else from us today.”

Chris rubbed his stomach absently. “Yeah, I guess. Hey!” He brightend up. “We could swing by the In-N-Out a few blocks from here. Wanna see if the others are interested?”

“Sure.” Karl was eager to get to know everyone better. A day full of discussion over the script was a great start, but half of them already knew each other so Karl had a lot of catching up to do.

Chris managed to round up Zach, Zoe, John and Anton and they all caravanned down the road, Chris leading them deftly through traffic to the drive-through. Karl hadn’t eaten at In-N-Out for ages and a burger and strawberry shake sound good. They ordered and then crowded in around one of the outdoor tables, jostling for room. The sun had started to set, casting golden Magic Hour beams across the table, and the air was a cooler, more comfortable temperature.

“I haven’t had a double double in ages. You just can’t get this in New Zealand,” Karl says, stuffing a few fries into his mouth.

“You Kiwi’s just have no concept of good food," Chris said around a mouthful, waving his burger under Karl's nose.

Karl shoved him playfully. “We aren’t all a bunch of sheep herders out in the middle of nowhere, you know. We have takeaway.”

"So Karl, you live in New Zealand, right?" Zoe asked from where she was perched in Zach’s lap feeding him fries. "How do you like the States?"

"I always enjoy visiting. In fact, I'm here so much I keep an apartment for shooting." He smiled wistfully. "I do miss my family, though. It's just not home without Natalie and the boys."

"Aww." Zoe bent to brush her lips across Zach's hair. "It must be hard to be away from her so much."

"Yeah. You have no idea how hard it is to assert your dominance over the phone."

Zoe laughed. "I do, in fact. The few times Zach has gone to New York without me were a trial."

"Oh, God, spare us your toppy commiseration." Karl looked over to see Chris making an adorable yucky face at Anton.

"So the great Kirk is a sub, huh?"

"You know it," Chris bragged. "Chris Pine can do anything."

"You mean 'will do anything that breathes’," John said, throwing a fry across the table at Chris.

"Screw you, Cho. We don't all have a gorgeous dominant to go home to."

They laughed, and Chris winked at Karl before biting into his burger. “Hey, Karl, you play basketball?”

“Sure, every now and again.”

“You should come over sometime. We could shoot some hoops, read lines. Whatever.”

Karl smiled. “Yeah, I’d like that.”

**

Karl leaned up against the door, looking across the large room to where Chris, John and Zach were practicing their fight scenes. He’d finished up with a wardrobe fitting and wandered around the set space a bit, getting his bearings and enjoying peeking at the Bridge set, which was coming along quickly. He’d stumbled across the empty lot which had a corner converted into gym space, and stayed to watch Chris sparing with a man Karl didn’t know, and supervised by Tony, the stunt coordinator.

Chris and the other man were in the middle of the room, Chris holding a football helmet and swinging it at the other man, which then devolved into a fist fight. Chris frowned as he fought, hesitating on a few moves and swinging too wide on a few others.

“Chris, you’ve got to pay attention or you’ll get Matt across the face for real with that helmet!” Tony called out. Chris and the other man, presumably Matt, broke apart panting and wiping at their sweaty brows. “Okay, done for the day, boys. Good job with your training, everyone, you’ve learned well. Let me know if you have any further questions before shooting starts on these scenes.”

They nodded and trudged across the room to the bench with their stuff, Chris waving at Karl. He grabbed his bag and a towel, wiping his face as he came over.

“I guess Starfleet Academy training is over,” Karl said as Chris gulped at his water.

“Yeah, unfortunately. I couldn’t seem to get anything right today, I hope I can get it together before shooting starts.” He was still sort of breathless, flushed and his hair was sticking up all over the place.

Chris seemed naturally athletic so Karl had been a little surprised to see him off his rhythm the whole time he’d been watching. “I’m sure you’ll be fine. Tony said earlier in the week you did great, right?”

Chris shrugged noncommittally.

“Want to read lines or something tonight? Get your mind off it.”

Chris shrugged again. “Sure, follow me over?”

Karl stepped back from the door. “Lead the way.”

It was a short drive to Chris’ place. Or, short for LA traffic, anyway. They were after the major rush hour, so it wasn’t long before they had pulled up and were jogging up the stairs to his front door.

“Make yourself at home,” Chris said, toeing off his shoes at the front door and waving Karl towards the kitchen. “There’s beer in the fridge. I’m hitting the shower, be out in a few.”

Karl grabbed a Pabst Blue Ribbon, laughing to himself that Chris always had beer but almost never anything else in his fridge. The same pizza box and half a wrap from the deli up the street were still there from when they played ball five days ago. He kicked up his feet on the coffee table, turning on ESPN while he waited.

Chris’ hair was still wet when he came back out, but this time artfully messy. He was dressed nicely, dark skinny jeans and a polo that fit him snugly across the chest and biceps. He held up the cigarette he’d lit. “Do you mind?”

Karl shrugged. “Your house.” He didn’t smoke anymore, but it had never bothered him the way it did other people after they’d quit.

Chris dropped his script down on the coffee table and flopped down on the other end of the couch. “Can you believe JJ with this red script and all the secrecy and shit?”

“This is the biggest thing since Pirates of the Carribbean, people are going to be all over this. I can’t blame him.”

“Eh, people need to relax. It’s just a movie.”

“You really think the press won’t be on any tiny spoiler in a heartbeat? They’ll know about it in Korea a half hour after any journalist gets their hands on some little bit of info. He’s just taking precautions.” When Chris just thumped his head back on the couch and sighed Karl raised an eyebrow at him. “How about we get started. What do you want to work on?”

“We’re starting on the shuttle scenes together first, let’s do that.”

Karl tossed his script onto the coffee table and rubbed at his eyes. “I think our concentration is shot tonight. You’ve flubbed that line like eight times.”

The sound of Chris’ lighter was loud in the quiet of the apartment, followed by a quiet inhale. Karl eyed him.

“That’s like your fifth one in two hours.”

Chris huffed a little laugh and turned a bit to exhale away from Karl. “Yeah.”

“You’ve been forgetting lines all night, too. You must be tired.”

“Stop smoking so much, settle down, Chris, you need to try harder to concentrate, Chris. What are you, my mom?”

Karl frowned a bit. Chris wasn’t usually so curt. Or jumpy. His toe was tapping against the coffee table leg, and the hand holding his cigarette was tapping out a little pattern against the armrest, causing his smoke to dance and wave. “Well, I wasn’t going to say all that, but yeah. What’s up, man?”

Chris shrugged. “I’m just antsy I guess. Got a little energy to work off or something. I think I’m going out tonight.”

“Oh yeah? Anywhere in particular?”

“I really like this little club a few blocks from here, I’ve had some good luck there. You heading back home?”

Karl shrugged. “No real plans for the night.”

Chris nodded and tapped his ash into an ashtray on the end table. “Just gonna chill, cool. I’ll catch up with you on Monday then?”

Karl nodded slowly. He’d been kind of hoping Chris would invite him along. It would have been fun to get out of the apartment and get to know Chris better, but he wouldn’t impose. “Yeah, man. I hope you have a good time.”

~~~

Chris was dangling from wires in front of a green screen with John Cho when Karl saw him next. They’d been twisting and turning around while hanging upside down, buffetted by wind machines from below as they filmed falling off the drill platform.

“Cut!” JJ called from behind the camera. “Excellent job, Chris! Great focus today, good job on keeping everything safe and capturing all that pretty quickly.”

Chris and John were lowered to the ground, which Karl thought was a good thing because Chris looked red enough to pass out. He disappeared into costuming and Karl caught him later when he came out dressed in his ubiquitous jeans, white t-shirt, and converse.

“Hey! Great job on set today. I caught a bit of your wire work and you looked good up there. It’s going to look killer on screen.”

Chris smiled tiredly, but he looked pleased with himself. “I’m just glad it went well. That shit is hard! John passed out twice.”

“Jeez, that’s intense,” Karl said. “JJ said no one got hurt, that’s good. You feel like you got your groove back today?”

“Oh yeah, I just needed to rest up, unwind. You know how it goes. It was a good weekend. Hey, want to grab some dinner?”

Karl smiled. They could talk about their first day of shooting in a couple of weeks, get a little more into the characters before they started. Karl loved that Chris was so passionate about Kirk, it was a blast talking about the different ways they could play things out on camera. “Yeah, I could eat.”

~~~

“ Space is disease and danger wrapped in darkness,” Karl growled, doing his best to screw his face up into a scowl for the twentieth time that day.

“Cut!” JJ popped out from behind the monitor and wound his way past the cameras and lights to lean on the fake bulkhead beside them. “Chris, you’re fidgeting again, and your head showed up in the shot. Kirk isn’t supposed to be the insecure one here, it’s Bones.”

Chris nodded, seemingly avidly listening to JJ, but Karl thought he could sense a growing frustration underneath the bright smile and ‘whatever you say’ attitude. “I’m sorry, JJ, I’m just having a hard time channeling Kirk here. I’ll do better, I know we’re all just trying to get out of here.”

JJ pursed his lips, but merely said, “It’ll come together, we’ll just do one more,” before striding off and calling for a light reset.

“You doing ok?” Karl asked quietly. He could tell Chris wasn’t, he’d never seen him so messed up. He’d fumbled his lines multiple times, strayed into Karl’s shot several times, and yesterday it had taken him almost fifty takes to get the hit-his-head-on-the-bulkhead and “As you were, gentlemen,” scene right. Karl just didn’t know how else to ask; anything more blunt felt like rubbing Chris’ face in his mess.

Chris reached up to rub his eyes, but stopped at the last second before ruining his makeup. He thumped his head back on the headrest and let out a long, deep breath. “I’m fine. I just need a smoke break.” Karl snorted and Chris sighed again. “I mean, I’m having a crappy day, but nothing’s really wrong. It’s just a crappy day. I’m freaking restless is all.” He tapped his thumb against the armrest between them.

“Hey, relax,” Karl said, laying his hand on Chris’ wrist to still his movement. “Just take a couple of deep breaths.”

Chris frowned a little but closed his eyes and breathed, the second and third breaths coming a little slower than the first.

Karl wrapped his fingers around Chris’ wrist and squeezed gently. “You got this. We rehearsed these lines till you could say them in your sleep.” He bumped his shoulder against Chris’. “JJ’s already had, like, ten espressos today. He’s going to have a heart attack if we have to do this another five times.” Chris laughed, though it was quiet and tired sounding.

Karl rubbed his thumb across the back of Chris’ hand a few times before letting go and settling back into his own seat so they weren’t touching anymore. That was a bit of an intimate gesture, one that he normally wouldn’t make with a submissive he wasn’t flirting with or already intimately familiar with, but it had seemed like a natural thing to do. And Chris looked a little more relaxed, so Karl guessed it had been worth it.

“It’s Friday, anyway,” Karl said. “We’ll be off in an hour and then you’ve got a couple of days to relax.”

“Yeah, the party on Sunday is gonna be fun,” he said, smiling at Karl for the first time since they’d said hello that morning.

Karl ducked his head a little. The crew was hosting a party at a bar downtown to celebrate Karl, Zoe, and Bruce starting their shooting schedules. He waved his hand. “It’s just a reason to go out and drink.”

“Hell, yeah, it’s a good reason to go out and drink! I just gotta see if Zach can give me a ride.” At Karl’s inquiring glance he shrugged. “I hate taking cabs, they always recognize me and want to talk to me about this script they’re working on and if I can get someone to look at it, or whatever. And I plan to party hard so I can’t drive.”

“Ah. Smart of you. I’m on your way, I could swing by for you if you want.”

“You wouldn’t mind?”

Karl shrugged. He liked spending time with Chris, liked it a lot. “Nah, it’s nothing, don’t worry about it. What time do you want me to come by?”

“How about seven.” Chris grinned, a sweet, genuinely delighted smile that made Karl’s breath catch.

Shit. He might be enjoying his time with Chris a bit too much.