Fic: I am My Beloved’s, and My Beloved is Mine - ST AOS

[pslasher]

Title: I am My Beloved’s, and My Beloved is Mine
Fandom: Star Trek: AOS
Relationships: Christine Chapel/Leonard McCoy/Spock
Rating: Explicit
Length: 5,285
Contains: PWP, sex pollen, spoilers for TOS
Summary: There’s a Tribble in Sick Bay that makes for a very unusual day at work.

Author’s Note: Hovering over the Hebrew will provide an English translation. Beta by sangueuk, with help for the pop-up html from xela_fic. This was inspired by a random comment by seashadows during a st_respect Ship Olympics party post. This proves that my brain is indeed random as fuck since this stuck with me for so long, and since I actually got my shit together to write this before everything else that needs to be written. 

Also, after 6 years of St:AOS fandom how am I putting the first Chapel/McCoy/Spock fanwork on AO3? Shame on you fandom for not living up to IDIC! ;D



 

“Doctor McCoy, the creature-“ Spock paused to peer at his hand. “It appears to have urinated on me. Please take it back.”

“Keep that damn thing to yourself, Spock!” McCoy exclaimed, pushing back from the desk and twisting to the side in a vain attempt to avoid the tribble Spock had dropped into his lap.

“Give it here, Doctor McCoy.” Christine held out her hand with an amused shake of her head. “It can’t be any worse than the toads my brothers used to shove in my face at every opportunity.”

“Thank you, Chapel.” He handed the creature over with a grimace, and glared at Spock, who gazed back evenly. “At least someone around here has some sense,” Bones grumbled.

“I did tell you I did not want to hold it. Eventually you will begin listening to me.” Spock moved to tuck his hands behind his back before remembering they were soiled. The look of aggravated pique that crossed his face as he held them out in front of himself made Christine bite her lip to keep from laughing out loud.

“Come on and wash up,” she said, nodding her head for Spock to follow her. She wrinkled her nose at the chirping, vibrating tribble in her hand. “It’s awfully excited about having peed.”

“And get that thing out of my sickbay and back to Scotty,” Bones shouted at them as they headed for a handwashing station.

Christine placed the Tribble, still trilling happily, into a dish on the counter and sidled up beside Spock for her chance at the hot water. He was scrubbing determinedly at his fingernails and her gaze caught on his hands, elegant fingers curled over for the nail brush.

“The most unhygienic creatures, constantly copulating and now urinating everywhere,” he muttered under his breath, brows furrowed in the cutest moue of distaste.

Christine didn’t think she’d ever seen his composure more rattled by anything in the years she’d known him. She also couldn’t remember a time when she’d been so captivated by his mouth; pouty looked really good on him. “It’ll wash off, Spock. Settle down and let me.” She reached over and grabbed the nail brush from him, taking his hand in hers.

Spock sucked in a shocked breath, and she felt it jolt through her body where her shoulder was pressed up against him. His hot feeling of lust flared into her mind and she remembered too late that he was a touch telepath.

Also, lust? That surprised her. Before this moment she’d have assumed he didn’t feel lust, but there was no denying the raw desire radiating from him. She wanted to see if she could provoke something more than a gasp from him, this man she respected so highly and yet knew only as a colleague. She wanted more.

She stroked a finger along his damp, hot skin, and through their connection she could feel how exquisitely arousing the sensation was. He shuddered, eyes and mouth going soft with pleasure. It was unnerving and thrilling to feel exactly what Spock felt, all inside her own mind. “You’re far more responsive than I would have expected,” she mused out loud, and she did it again to see him shiver all over again. For Spock, it was a major lapse of self control, and it was hot as hell.

“Are you being naughty, Nurse Chapel,” McCoy murmured from right behind her, placing one hand on the sink on either side of her waist and sliding up close. “I think this type of behavior in my Sick Bay is against regs.”

“Hmmm,” she murmured. She knew McCoy better than Spock, but she’d never pushed past the friendly banter and easy camaraderie the medical facility fostered to see what might lurk behind the haunted shadow of his eyes. She’d always secretly wanted him, and just now she couldn’t remember why she’d ever hidden those feelings away. McCoy pressed up against her, lips brushing against her neck and dick hard against her ass. She arched back into him and he groaned. It was against regs, but Spock’s growing hunger was hot in her mind and both of them against her skin was intoxicating and she didn’t care. “You going to reprimand me, Doctor McCoy?”

“I’ll think of something. But right now, nothing happens in my Sick Bay without my involvement.”

“You hear that, Spock? Doctor McCoy wants in.” She didn’t know exactly what ‘in’ meant, though. This was so wildly outside her sphere of experience she had no frame of reference for it. She wondered why that didn’t worry her.

At her words, she felt the shift in Spock’s attention from her to McCoy, a peculiar sensation of knowing and seeing something she should never be able to access. He assessed the situation and through the meld she followed his lightening quick leaps of logic - logistics, assumed preferences, the exact number of regulations they would break if their actions continued down this trajectory. He calculated the probability of this happening between all three of them and came up with a thirty-two point six seven percent likelihood, but two point zero one percent likelihood of it happening while on duty and in Sick Bay. Even still, he liked the way McCoy looked pressed up against her, and thought he wouldn’t mind finding out if sex was an effective way to silence his mouthy commentary. His mind moved dizzyingly quickly, one thought merging into another until he’d evaluated every angle possible. It was different from how her own mind worked, steady and good at multitasking, and being witness to it was more intimate than anything she’d ever felt before.

“I am amenable to that suggestion, Nurse Chapel,” he said, voice gravely from lust. He threaded his fingers through hers, pressing his palm against hers in full contact that was as erotic for him as brushing his tongue against hers would be for her. She’d never really believed the rumors that Vulcans kissed with their fingers but they very clearly did, and she suddenly viscerally understood why Vulcans didn’t shake hands.

“Christine,” she murmured. She supposed he could feel her answering flood of lust as clearly as she felt his. Let’s not stand on ceremony when I’m effectively giving you a handjob right in the middle of Sick Bay - while on duty, no less, she thought at him, interested to see if he would receive her telepathic communication.

Very well, Christine. He lent down to kiss her, stroking his tongue against hers in the exact way she had visualized. He rubbed his thumb across her palm in time with his tongue delving deeply and it made every muscle in her tighten up with need. He had no doubt plucked that thought directly from her head but she thought there was at least a little experience with humans backing up his moves. She wanted to see just how far that experience went.

Shit, Spock, she thought, kissing back fervently. But he did the mental equivalent of scrunching up his nose in distaste at her word choice. She burst out giggling at the feel of that expression in her mind, leaning back and saying, “You have to touch him, Doctor McCoy, it’s amazing.”

“I’m sure it’s no more amazing than touching anybody else...” McCoy trailed off as Spock reached out and touched his temple with his free hand. “Oh my god,” he whispered.

Another presence bloomed in her mind, and it felt exactly how McCoy should: surly, sarcastic, and utterly devoted to the Enterprise and everyone on her. He was surprised, aroused, with a small part of him wondering what exactly they were doing. But he liked the soft press of her ass against his hard dick and the way she looked kissing Spock. There was lust coming from both of them in waves and it felt incredible, magnifying her own arousal until getting them naked and inside her as soon as possible pushed every other thought out.

She reached for Spock’s zip and pulled it down with her free hand before realizing there was no way she could get the button undone and him naked with their hands all tangled up together. “All right, we’re fucking now. Let go of us and get naked, Spock. Doctor McCoy, you go get the medical lube.”

“What happened to not standing on ceremony,” McCoy asked archly, but he hustled off for the lube before she could answer.

Which was fine, because she was already pulling her dress up over her head while Spock stripped out of his pants with military precision. He didn’t even stop to fold them, just dumped them on the floor and pulled her close to devour her mouth as soon as her dress cleared her head. She kissed back, pushing hard enough to knock him off balance and she rode him down to the floor, knees astride his thighs as he lay on his back.

“Jesus, you’re huge,” she breathed, awed and apprehensive for a moment before her need grew too great to care. Spock made an impatient sound and reached down to tear her underwear off like it was tissue paper. Christine was impressed, in a surreal sort of way; she’d never had anyone rip her clothes off before but her mind almost couldn’t process the fact that it was controlled and unemotional Spock doing it. She slid up to his hips and sank down onto his thick girth as slowly as she could manage to allow herself time to adjust to his girth.

He wasn’t distant or unaffected now. His skin was flushed, a light green tint across his cheeks that she had never seen before, and it spread down to his muscled, hairy chest. He reached up to brush a strand of hair away from her face, and she caught his hand to look at it. His palm and the pads of his fingers were the same lovely green, and the idea of having such intimate knowledge of him delighted her. She reached out and licked the pad of one finger and his resulting moan and hip thrust up into her thrilled her.

“Don’t you two make a pretty picture,” McCoy said, setting a bottle of lube on the floor beside them and then pulled his shirt over his head, firm stomach flexing invitingly with the movement. He grinned at her, full of wicked promise as he unzipped and dropped his pants to reveal muscled thighs and a thick, half-hard dick. He was surprisingly fit. It’s not like she hadn’t noticed that he always looked trim in his uniform, but he was in better shape than would be required to run sick bay.

McCoy touched her, stroking a broad hand down her back and over the curve of her ass. It felt phenomenally good, burning through her in a way that a simple touch shouldn’t be able to, but it was nowhere enough. “Get inside me, Doctor McCoy, now.”

He picked up the lube and seconds later she felt something nudge slick against her anus. She pushed back, and slowly he pushed a finger inside her. “This better be ok, there’s no way I’m fitting in there with Spock.”

“Yes, fine, just do it!”

He chuckled, low and dark. “I want it, too, but give me five seconds to get you ready.” He pushed another finger in alongside the first and she clenched up a little. He squeezed her hip and rubbed soothingly down her thigh until she loosened up enough to enjoy the press of him inside her.

“Never done this before,” she muttered. She was a little apprehensive about being touched somewhere she’d never had an interest in before, and yet it was startlingly erotic.

“This seems to be new to all of us...” Spock said, trailing off as he ran his fingers through the hair that fell over her shoulders. She got the impression he liked the sensual way the silky strands felt to his sensitive skin.

Abruptly McCoy pulled out and slid close up behind her, nudging the now slick head of his cock against her asshole and pressing in slowly. She pushed back onto him as much as she could with Spock still sunk in her to the balls, pressed between the two of them. “Oh, god, that’s too much, too-” She trailed off into moans as McCoy slid against Spock through the thin tissues separating them. She felt full, overwhelmingly so, and then Spock hit her just right and everything slid from toofulltoomuch to ohmygodmoreNOW.

Christine got a brief mental impression of amazement from McCoy about the shared sensations, though he didn’t say anything, simply panted hot against her back. He spread her legs a little more and thrust in hard. Pleasure curled out from his mind, hot and thick and burying itself somewhere deep in her. It tasted like aged Johnnie Walker Blue, powerful and hot on the tongue. He slid his hand up her back and buried it in her hair, pulling her head back just enough for Spock to get his mouth on her neck at just the spot that always made her moan.

She’d never had a threesome before, never felt any greedy desire for more than one at a time. She was thinking that had been a major mistake. Their hands and mouths were all over her, they were filling her more fully than she’d ever been filled before. They slid into her consciousness like they belonged there, and she didn’t think she wanted to go back to being alone in her head.

“I can bond us together,” Spock said, and his voice was rough. “So we’d never have to part.”

A vision of the bond sprang to mind, of always knowing where the other two were, and how they felt at any given time, and even speaking to the other’s mind across distance. Of knowing you belonged together, no matter what.

“I’m told the sexual satisfaction one gains from a bonding is beyond compare,” he said, his voice as calm as if he were on the bridge, even though he couldn’t stop touching and thrusting up into her.

“You sound pretty sure about that, cowboy,” McCoy said from behind her, tightening his grasp on her waist. Through their link she felt apprehension lying heavily at the back of his mind but he wanted the bright, happy togetherness of a relationship with a fierce and sudden ache that cut through her like a plasma torch through transparent aluminum.

“Do it,” Christine said. She knew as soon as the words were out of her mouth that both she and Spock would do anything to give him that.

“Wait,” McCoy said. “You don’t have to-”

“Stop,” Spock said, reaching out to touch his finger to McCoy’s mouth. He instinctively licked the tip of Spock’s finger and Spock’s eyes drifted closed on a shudder.

Christine felt him gather back together his focus like a mental indrawn breath. He projected a feeling of rightness to them, a depth of intimacy that only sharpened with age as the bond grew, as his parents’ had done. There was as much cultural idealism for a bond on Vulcan as there was for romance on Earth, and it seemed Spock was a closet romantic.

McCoy groaned and pulled Spock forward to kiss him hard, and the fizzy warmth of excitement erupted between them. “Do it.

Spock reached out with both hands and placed them on mirroring psi points on their faces and intoned,

 

My mind to your mind

Parted from me and never parted

Never and always

touching and touched

 

My blood to your blood

in this time of mating or death

 

Ani L'Dodi, v'Dodi Li

Let the body join what the mind has bound

 

As it was at the time of the beginning

when the foundations of Vulcan were laid

so it is now.”

 

His fingers burned against their skin, the heat of him and his words sinking into them and tightening somewhere deep inside her until there seemed to be an unbreakable link between the three of their souls and minds. It tugged at her and she leant back into Leonard while pulling Spock to her to get as much skin contact as she could. It helped a little, but she still felt drawn to them like she’d never get close enough to satisfy the urge to have all of them right then and there.

"Coupling will help the bond solidify, and then we will always be with you," Spock said and grabbed her hard by the hips to thrust up into her.

His voice was rougher than she’d ever heard it, and it thrilled her to see the effect they had on him. She touched his flushed fingers and cheeks, his lips that opened on harsh pants, and she wanted to see what he looked like when he let go completely. She took his hand and sucked his first and middle finger into her mouth as deeply as she could, rubbing against them with her tongue. Spock growled and she pushed down hard onto him, taking him as fast and deep as she could. Leonard moved with her, gripping her hips to make it easier to slam down on them both equally. She lost herself in them totally, the entirety of her world focused down to the thick fullness within her, Leonard’s teeth scraping against her shoulder when she moved, the corded tendons of Spock’s neck when he threw his head back at one particularly deep thrust. They were hot inside her and wide open to her mind, and it seemed each moment of their lives leading up to now had drawn them step by step to her so she could find in them the partners she long for, and she loved them for it.

The moment crystallized within her and she came abruptly with a startled cry, clenching tight around them again and again until she had to fall forward on her hands as the pleasure became so overwhelming she could no longer hold herself up, almost could not breathe with the intensity. Len came warm inside her, and then Spock, and they were ablaze inside and around her as she collapsed wearily onto Spock.

It was some time later before the haze in her mind cleared and she no longer felt the need to fuck furiously. By degrees she became aware that Leonard had his arm over her shoulder and across Spock’s chest, their fingers laced loosely and rubbing lazily together. They lay peacefully, basking in the warmth of togetherness until Leonard’s weight on her became uncomfortable. “Get off me,” she grumbled, pushing back until he rolled off her.

“What the hell was that?” Leonard felt befuddled to Christine as he looked at them sprawled naked in the middle of Sick Bay.

It was as if some spell were broken and suddenly she was utterly bewildered to find herself naked on the floor with her coworkers in the middle of her shift. I have no fucking clue, Christine thought.

She felt Leonard’s realization that he could hear her mental reply and he sat up, eyebrows raised in shock as alarm shot through him. “Spock, what the hell was that?”

It is the Bond, Leonard, the same as before.

“Yes, but that-I don’t-why did we do that?!”

There was no good reason for them to have bonded. She’d fallen quietly in love with Spock years ago but had resigned herself to her feelings never being returned. He’d never once looked at her as anything other than a colleague. Before now she’d cared deeply for Leonard, had certainly found him attractive, but had never allowed it to develop into love. She hadn’t wanted yet another rejection. She sat there with Spock pressed close along her thigh, the casual contact suddenly shocking in the chill air, and wanted nothing more than to get dressed.

She hastily stood and grabbed her clothes, moving away and turning so she could fumble on her clothes, her back to them. “Len’s right, Spock. This is wildly abnormal behavior for us. What the hell happened?”

“I do not know, Miss Chapel.” The formal words sounded stilted and uncomfortable after their previous intimacy. She had grown to like him speaking her name so casually, and she realized she had even started thinking of Leonard differently. That barrier of professionalism she had always held up like a shield was no longer there, and she was loath to bring it back up.

She sighed. Don’t do that, Spock. I’m Christine for as long as we’re in each other’s heads, for God’s sake. She turned back to see them pulling on their pants and tunics. They had backed away from each other, almost into opposite corners. She didn’t blame them for wanting a little space.

“Something happened to alter our behavior. No offense to either of you, but there’s no way I’d just do this on a whim.”

“None taken, Leonard. Neither would I. Potential bondmates prepare for months or years before a bonding occurs. I’d never willfully force this on you, or fail to mitigate the potential dangers of bonding with humans. It violates every custom we have. I do not understand, either.”

“You didn’t force anything on us,” Christine said firmly. She felt better now that she was fully dressed again. “What’s been different lately that would affect us so strongly?”

“Nothing! None of us consumed any mind-altering substances, there’s no one around to have dosed us with anything, everything is perfectly normal.” Leonard scrubbed his hands through his hair in frustration.

Spock went to the computer and tapped the screen. “I’m running a diagnostic scan that will detect anything abnormal on the ship. If there is something I will find it.”

They lapsed into silence. Spock stood with his hands tucked quietly behind his back, but through the bond she could feel his growing dismay with his actions and the mental strength he was using to maintain his outer control. Leonard wanted desperately to head for the stash of whisky in his quarters but refused to break and run.

Christine thought breaking and running from the tension in the room might be a fine strategy, all things considered, but she wouldn’t take the coward’s way out, either. “Listen, let’s all just take a step back and look at this calmly. We all care for and trust each other, there’s nothing that can disrupt the friendship-”

“Pardon the interruption, Christine, but there is an abnormal substance present on our bodies and in our bloodstreams. The scanners don’t have a name for it”

Leonard moved to stand beside Spock and view the screen, awkwardly staying far enough away to not to bump shoulders. “It appears to be related to the tribble we handled earlier.” He tapped a couple of times and brought up side by side on the large wall screen the scan results for the unknown substance and the computer’s database entry for the tribble species. “Do you see how the protein structures are similar? It is possible the tribble was altered by the ion storm we passed through yesterday, producing a mind-altering substance.”

Christine stepped close enough to examine the scan results. “Spock, is it possible that your body saw this chemically altered mindset as the onset of Ponn Farr?”

“It is possible, Christine. My people have no history of interaction with Tribbles, that I am aware of, so there is no precedent for comparison, but I cannot rule it out without further study.”

“Well that’s just fabulous. Those little vermin are the gift that keeps on giving.” Leonard scowled furiously and stabbed at the computer. “Doctor McCoy to Captain Kirk.”

“This is Kirk, what’s up, Bones?”

“Captain, those god damned tribbles are getting off my god damned ship right the hell now! Doctor’s orders, emergency protocol 275. All personnel not performing essential duties will drop everything immediately and deliver every single one of them to quarantine bay two. I better see Scottie first in line, do you hear me?”

“Scottie worked third shift last night, he’s dead asleep right now. And what exactly is going on that you’re enacting emergency protocols?”

“Wake his ass up. In fact, wake up everyone, I don’t care. If I find anyone harboring one of these fucking things I’m deliberately infecting them with Andorian shingles, do not test me on this.”

“Fine, done. In the meantime, I want you and Spock on the bridge with a report right now. Kirk out.”

Leonard turned and looked defiantly at them, almost demanding them to counter his order. “I’m going to tell him what happened and I’m rounding those monsters up and then I’m going to get that drink. Nobody better get in my way.” Then he turned and stormed out.

“Spock, go with him and keep him from doing anything rash. I’ve got Sick Bay covered,” Christine said, waving him on.

“I will report when there is news,” Spock said, nodding at her on his way after Leonard.

 

 

~~~

 

It itched, this feeling of knowing where Leonard was all the time. She knew that he had to go to the bathroom, that he was upset about Ensign Bai’s test results and having to deliver bad news; despite his outward gruffness he’d never gotten over the anxiety of having to tell someone their life was about to change in a terrible way. She knew Jo’s birthday was coming up and he was worried he may not get to talk to her, and that he was just as uncomfortable with Christine in his mind as she was with him in hers. She couldn’t even avoid him by staying on the other side of Sick Bay, like she used to do when he irritated her. Spock’s ‘so we’d never have to part’ was apparently pretty literal, and the three of them seemed to be pretty damn stuck with the discomfort for the foreseeable future.

 

"That's the third time I've seen you leaving the supply closet today,” Christine said, looking up from her spot at the nurses’ station. “What are you doing?"

'What, I can't organize my own damn supplies without you jumping down my throat?"

She quirked an eyebrow at him. “Because spending your time doing something we hire the nurses for is a good use of your time?"

"Well nobody else is around right now, they've all deserted us for shore leave. Somebody has to do it."

"First of all, that's not desertion. You're just angry officers and key personnel have to remain on board for mandatory training. Second of all, I already did that this morning. Have you finished that report for ensign Bai? You're supposed to be using this time to be doing that."

He bristled at that and she could feel him gearing up for a rant so she planted her fists on her hips and pinned him with a hard stare. “Dont even start. You know what, I've had enough of this walking on eggshells. We're talking about this, like it or not." She reached out to Spock through the bond, something that had become second nature to her in the last day. Spock, are you there?

I am here, Christine, Leonard.

Most of his attention was focused on meditation and his mind felt curiously blank and expansive. We need to talk about this. The tension is killing me.

Leonard glared at her but underneath there was a rising panic she ached to see in him. “We don’t need to talk about anything. I’ve got shit to do, as you’ve pointed out.”

Leonard, I cannot hear you as clearly when you speak out loud, Spock said, his attention gaining focus on them and the conversation almost as if he were waking up. We cannot hold a discussion that way.

Leonard threw his hands up in disgust. Fine. Say what you have to say.

Underneath all his bluster a faint sense of embarrassment and shame stood out, and Christine realized it had been there all along. She gathered together all of her feelings about Roger - the initial determination to comb every square inch of the universe to find him, the loneliness when day after month after year there was no trace of him, her overwhelming sense of betrayal when they found him and she realized he’d chosen to stay on Exo III despite their promises to each other. She let all of that bleed past the carefully constructed walls she’d put up over time so Leonard could feel it. She didn’t want those feelings anymore, those walls dividing her into half the person she used to be. She wanted these men, something new and exciting and permanent. This was not a ‘pity fuck’, or something else like that, Len. I don’t know exactly where it came from but I wanted it just as much as you did.

Curiously, she still did. It was uncomfortable sharing her head with them, and terrifying to think they’d so abruptly joined their lives together without any sort of plan, but she didn’t want to get rid of them. That same deep feeling of belonging had been present since the event and it seemed more precious than all the ‘alone’ space in her head ever could. She tried to open up her mind and project that to them, and was gratified to see Leonard’s shoulders relax a little, and Spock’s mental presence seem to warm and embrace them in a way that was like a firm hug. While the inability to close them out entirely had been unnerving, she had to admit that it could also be pretty amazing.

She walked over to Leonard and put her hands on his shoulders, running them up his neck to cup his face in her palms. I don’t want you gone. I don’t know where this is going to go, but I want to find out. I know you wanted it too, I felt it. Don’t push us out without at least trying.

He stood rigid under her hands for long moments before Spock joined in. Leonard, I have the utmost respect for you, and have for years now. I enjoy the pleasure of your unique company. He paused a moment before bringing to mind memories of his own bond. All at once they knew everything about T’Pring and the way she had distanced herself from their bond all the years he was away from her until the day she chose to coldly deny him altogether. She understood that Spock yearned for something permanent, and worried that there would be no one there for him at his next Pon Farr. The details of the Enterprises’ visit to Vulcan that time had been kept completely confidential and Christine had no idea what had gone on there. It was surprising to learn the depth of Spock’s pain that day; she hadn’t suspected his capacity for emotions ran that deep.

I have mourned the loss of my bondmate over these couple of years, and could think of no two people I’d rather bond with than you. Please accept this as an opportunity for growth and connection, instead of a burden.

Leonard rolled his eyes. That does not a marriage proposal make, Spock. But he smiled a little and his rigid posture and internal panic relaxed into something close to comfort. Fine. We can try this, but the minute someone gets clingy I’m out.

She kissed him and he slid his hands around her waist to pull her close. Don’t worry, I’ll still fuss you out when you need it, okay? He grinned against her mouth and Spock’s amusement seemed to sparkle around them.

She thought she could get used to the feeling.